I got nothin’… March 20, 2011
Posted by aplaceforgracie in Gratitude.add a comment
So what does it mean when all those witty, interesting monologues in my head stop once I have a place to put them? Maybe they were only witty and interesting in my head, although that shouldn’t prevent me from putting them on paper…um…monitor. Where do people come up with some of the fabulously fun things they write about? After I read them, I think, “Gee, that’s really great. I should have thought of that.” I didn’t though, or it would have been on MY blog, not theirs. Probably the words in my head these days are too negative to be shared. People don’t want to hear how lousy I feel about my job, when so many people don’t have jobs. When I think of my beautiful motorcycle, all that comes to mind is the battery I haven’t been able to install, and the lousy weather–nothing there to share, no mind-clearing rides to reflect on, just the possibility that I might have to hang a For Sale sign on her handlebars. My beloved dog, Rusty–there’s a fun subject, except it’s hard to think about him without realizing that I am on borrowed time with him. He’s pretty old for a big dog. But there’s something to be grateful for–he IS still here, still adorable, still acting as much like a puppy as he did when he was just a year or two old, still reasonably healthy. And that makes me feel better.
Gratitude. That brings a warm, pleasant feeling. Let’s go with that… My daughters–beautiful young women, and we have a great relationship. And THEY have a great relationship. I worried, when they were young, that they would hate each other because they fought so terribly, were so mean to each other. And now, they have days where they get together, just the two of them, for lunch/movie/shopping, whatever strikes their fancy, and they look forward to it! Who knew that they would be best friends after all the years of insults, tattling, fighting. Yup, a warm pleasant feeling, and it’s NOT because I just wet my pants!
Gratitude–for a family I love and am happy to spend time with. Parents, siblings, in-law siblings, nieces, nephews, I love them all! Mind you, we are not (REALLY not) perfect by a long shot. We are a loud, obsessive/compulsive, OCD-afflicted, nosy, controlling, sarcastic bunch, and we enjoy each other because we have learned not to take our dysfunctions too seriously. We recognize them, we make fun of them, we laugh a lot because of them. And we’d band together to kick the collective asses of anyone who hurt one of us! That’s never happened, but it could! Meanwhile, we’ll have a beer and a few snacks, and enjoy each others’ company.
Gratitude–for friends. Good friends, long-time friends, friends from way back who I’ve recently caught up with again (thank you FaceBook!), new friends, the many friends who have been true BFFs throughout the years but have moved far enough away that we had to change the approach to our friendship, and particularly, the BFF who lets me vent, who listens when I’m sad, who feels comfortable enough to vent to me, who thinks up all kinds of interesting things for us to do and places for us to go, and who accepts me exactly as I am.
Gratitude–for the people I work with. I work at a non-profit organization where we rely on volunteers and donors, and their time and money, to function. The people that I work with work hard to maintain both of these important assets, and believe so strongly in what we do. Despite how I feel about certain details of my job, I love what we do as an organization, and how hard we work to keep doing it. And some of those people have become good friends as well as being coworkers. It’s a bonus to spend time with them during the workday, to have lunch with them, and to see them outside of work.
Gratitude–for my reasonable good health; for the little house I live in, on the quiet street where there are few booming car stereos to bounce the knickknacks off my shelves; for my car and the previously-mentioned motorcycle that I love to ride, and will continue to ride until we have to part company for financial reasons; for cold, sunny winter days and warmish early spring days and the occasional snow day (is it too late to hope for one more day off because of a blizzard?); for all the good things it’s too easy to forget about on a bad day; for the good days that help me forget about the bad things. Thank you for each and every one of these things!
Maybe I got nothin’ much to blog about, but I got a whole lotta stuff to be grateful for. And grateful I am for these things and many others. I feel better for having written this–so even if my blog isn’t a high-traffic kind of a place, it’s still a good thing. So blog on, Gracie!
“I hope you have one just like you!” March 7, 2011
Posted by aplaceforgracie in Raising Kids.add a comment
The words that make up the title of this post would always strike fear in my heart. And my lungs, kidneys, and most other body parts. Why? Because when my mom would say this to me, she was referring to the horrible experience it was to parent the teenage me. I didn’t see those years as horrible. I had a great time doing all the things I did but probably shouldn’t have done–things that were unwise, things that could get me hurt or worse, things that were stupid enough to get me in more trouble with my parents than I ever would have been in if it was just, say, a police officer who caught me. And I had an ATTITUDE, yes I did. This did not make for a peaceful existence for me or for my parents. My mom had to keep my dog quiet when I came in late, so that my dad didn’t wake up, cuz he’d be pissed. I had to get very creative with my excuses for being late, and I was almost always up to the task. One night, two of the guys we were with smeared motor oil on their hands, and came up to the door with me to ask if they could wash up after having to replace a fan belt on the way to drop me off, which is why we were late. Or the friend who wandered off and we couldn’t find her. And without a cell phone (it was the 70s–sadly lacking in technology back then!), we had no choice but to wait until she returned before we could head for home. Or the nights I sat and listened to someone’s troubles with a girlfriend or boyfriend–I was a most empathetic friend. I’m sure my parents wished I had been more empathetic to the pains I was causing them! There were a million reasons, both real and made up, to be late. And I used them all.
Fast forward to senior year in high school. Things have calmed down. I have more freedom, and less need to rebel. I’m working a zillion hours a week at McDonald’s, and don’t have as much time to find trouble. My relationship with my parents has become more easy-going. We are having fun again as a family, whether it’s shoveling snow after a blizzard, or playing one of the games we always enjoyed. My siblings and I are enjoying our time with each other, and with mom & dad. Good thing, because soon I will get married and move to a city about an hour away. This is when those words that my mom used to say, “I hope you have one just like you,” come back to haunt me. I learn I am pregnant with our first child. She turns out to be beautiful, sweet, well-behaved, and only slightly under-motivated in school. I wait for it–the signs that Ugly Teenage Monster is getting ready to attack. Nope. Didn’t happen. Not with the first daughter, and not with the second one either, because even though she is very different from her sister, she is a sweetheart as well. Despite my penchant for hitchhiking, alcohol consumption, trying to get away with anything I could (and I usually did!), doing all the things I wasn’t “allowed” to do, despite all of this and more, both of my daughters were born without the gene that turns a teenager into Ugly Teenage Monster. Those two girls are as different from each other as night and day, but aside from a few shenanigans, minor league stuff, they were a joy and a blessing every step of the way. Even when they learned that their dad and I were splitting up, they stayed the course.
My oldest daughter is engaged now, and while both girls have their dresses ordered, there is dress shopping to be done for me. My girls and I are following in the tradition of my sisters & I and our mom–a weekend trip out-of-town to shop. I can’t wait to share this time with them–the trying on of dresses galore, pretty ones, silly ones, elegant ones, in all kinds of styles and colors, and maybe sharing a laugh (or twenty!) in the process, with a break for a couple of beers and a burger. In many ways, my girls are very much like me. But in the important way, the one that my mom threatened me with more times than I could count, they were not “just like me.” And I will be forever grateful to them for being the wonderful girls they are. (Is it ok to call them girls even though they are 25 and 28 now?) My mom has a theory. She thinks maybe it skips a generation, and that one of my daughters might give birth to Ugly Teenage Monster. We have decided NOT to share this with them…
How do you buy glasses when you can’t see without your glasses? March 2, 2011
Posted by aplaceforgracie in Getting New Stuff.add a comment
I’m 53 years old, and have worn glasses for 49 of those years. I’ve had big glasses, small glasses, wire frames, plastic frames, monovision lenses, progressive lenses, Transitions, no tint at all, and I’ve had the same problem with all of them. How do I know how they look on me, until I buy them so I can actually see them on me?? And once I buy them to see them on me, it’s too late to decide if I like the way they look on me. Ok, in all fairness, I’m sure there are places that have a guarantee–some way to fix the problem if you end up with something you hate. Luckily, I’ve been able to live with my decisions so far. But this time, when I went to look at glasses, I took a friend from work. I asked someone whose taste I trust, and who I knew wouldn’t steer me wrong. When I tell you that the frames we chose are purple and lime green, will you wonder if we lost our marbles? Seriously, purple and lime green. Odd as that sounds, they are perfect on me! They are one of the first frames I tried on, and every pair after that just didn’t measure up. I thought maybe it was just because I couldn’t really see all how I looked, that maybe they were hideous on me, and I couldn’t tell. But my friend agreed. There wasn’t another pair there that looked as good. I tried to stay away from the ones that made me look bookish, and accountant-like. Not sure why, because I LOVE books, and I work in accounting. ;D I guess I wanted something a bit different–something that says, “Here’s a woman who is not afraid to take a risk!” Of course, owning and riding a motorcycle point to a certain amount of risk tolerance anyway…
To be honest, the purple doesn’t SCREAM purple, it’s a very dark shade. And the lime green is only on the inside of the frame, so not very visible unless you are looking from a certain direction. But I will enjoy having glasses that are purple and lime green. And I will always invite a friend with me when I am looking for new glasses. I might not have made this choice if I was by myself. I might have been too afraid. And then I would not have had the opportunity to buy purple and lime green glasses! Can’t wait to get them!
Having the tools is NOT the same as using the tools… February 28, 2011
Posted by aplaceforgracie in Finance/Budget, Health/Weight Discussion, Life Management.add a comment
Yes, I have tools–lots of them. Some are for minor household projects, some are for working on my motorcycle, some I have NO idea what to do with (i.e. vacuum cleaner, iron and ironing board… ;D ). Then there are the tools made to help with self-improvement projects. Those are the ones on my mind today. Those are the ones that, if I’d use them regularly, would allow me to manage some of the areas of my life that are constantly out of control. I pay for online support tools and weekly meetings for a popular weight loss program that I love, but I don’t use the tools as seriously as I’d like, given that I’d like to be about 40-45 pounds lighter. I have weights and DVDs to lead me through the strength training that I really do enjoy, but I rarely make time for them. I bought software to help with finances and budget control. I use it to record the facts (income & expenses), but don’t use it for analysis and future planning (Where have I spent too much? What can I cut down on?). I don’t take horoscopes too seriously, but when I saw the beginning of today’s, I realized it fit right in with what I’m trying to do right now. “Today you may emphasize organizing things and managing your life…” And this was AFTER I thought very seriously about getting down to the business of using all the neat, productive tools at my fingertips! Hmmm…
Time to take advantage of all this stuff, or maybe think about getting rid of it. If I’m not going to use it, no sense in having it take up space in my budget, my hard drive, or my house. That’s what I’ll be focusing on for now–using them or clearing the decks. Seems this silly blog has potential as a management tool for me. And I can sure use it!
Spanx – Genius, or just plain Evil?? February 28, 2011
Posted by aplaceforgracie in Daughter's Wedding.Tags: fitting room, Spanx
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If you’ve ever been a bride or a bridesmaid, mother of the bride or groom, wedding guest, gone to prom or homecoming, or just needed to wear some clothes that aren’t very forgiving, you’ve probably heard of or tried Spanx. I think these garments are a mixed blessing. How wonderful to smooth out all the lumps and bumps that you were not able to lose, or aerobicize and weight-lift into submission, before the big event (or even before trying dresses on for the big event). This garment looks like a pair of pantyhose, but without feet–it reaches from just under your bra, to the middle of your thighs. It takes a lllooonnnggg time to put on, because if it fits correctly, it is REALLY tight! And body parts may not land exactly where they belong when you are done. I listened to my dear bride-to-be daughter tell me how her first effort to don Spanx resulted in her belly button ending up under her right boob. She showed me, while she was driving us to the bridal shop, how she had to use both arms to pull the Spanx away from her body enough for her poor navel to return to its natural resting place.
The bridal gown was tried on with the requisite Spanx, and the effect was stunning! Curves where there should be curves, smooth where appropriate, and the dress was declared perfect! Unfortunately, the combination of the dress with the structure built in and laced up the back, and the Spanx, left the poor girl unable to sit down comfortably! There were lots of chuckles over her effort to appear nonchalant while trying to bend in half against the forces of the super-strength garments. Oh well, as she pointed out, she won’t be doing much sitting at her Las Vegas wedding!
Bride-to-be’s younger sister tried on bridesmaid dresses while wearing her Spanx. She put them on before leaving home, to save time in the fitting room. They did their job during the dress-modeling session to make the sample dresses look great! Thanks to their help, a dress was easily chosen and properly ooh’d and aah’d over before our afternoon was done. But the gasps and groans on the way home, after a stop for a late lunch, told the tale of an unrelenting force that just didn’t want to quit.
OMG, do I even WANT to try putting this thing on? Yes, I have to make the effort, or trying on dresses could be traumatic for this 53 year old woman who is not in the best of shape. I must have made a serious error in choosing the size of my Spanx garment though. It took less than a minute to put on, left all of my body parts right where they belong, and when I was done, I didn’t really look any slimmer. Yup, I recheck the size chart and see that I need a smaller size. I’m not sure I have the courage to do this, but I am feeling very empowered at the thought of needing a smaller size so I will persevere because that isn’t usually how things work around here! So before shopping for my dress can begin in earnest, there will be Spanx in a smaller size, and probably more fun stories about misplaced body parts. <sigh> The things we do for our kids…
I can’t wait for our next shopping trip. Both daughters have chosen their dresses, but I have not. We will set out for a weekend of dress shopping in spring. Perhaps I can lose 50 pounds by then, and tone up whatever remains, so I won’t even NEED the help of my Spanx! Yeah, I don’t believe it either… But memories of the moments we share while doing this together will last forever, as will the pictures of us squished to photographic perfection in our gorgeous wedding attire. So I officially declare Spanx to be pure genius!
So now I have a blog… February 26, 2011
Posted by aplaceforgracie in General, Newbie.add a comment
Maybe I should have given some thought to what I was going to do with this blog before actually creating it? Ahhh, why bother changing the way I do things now? Act first. Think later. Or don’t think at all, just DO. That has worked well for me in many areas of my life, like buying a motorcycle. Seems to me that I said I was NOT going to buy the pretty teal and silver Harley, I was just going to LOOK at it. And what happened? I bought it. That day. (You knew that was coming, didn’t you?) I had never even ridden a motorcycle before, except as a passenger. Yup, DO first, think later. I love my bike, I love riding it now that I know how, I love being the 53 year old woman who shows up at her office on a Harley, wearing jeans and boots, and carrying her work clothes rolled up in the saddlebags without a hanger or garment bag in sight. Our office is run by some very conservative people, and I like being the one who shows up on the bike with the pretty, throaty rumble.
I also have a tendency to eat before thinking about what I’m eating. That has NOT turned out so well, as I am continually fighting the extra weight. If I had back all the money I’ve paid to Weight Watchers over the years, I could buy a brand new bike. Or two. Or three. But I don’t give up. I keep working on it. Maybe I’ll get “there” someday–“there” being my goal weight. Or maybe I never will and I will learn to live with that at some point. But I haven’t yet, and I will keep trying. There is, after all, a wedding in Vegas in October where I will be the mother of the bride. Gotta look good for that, so this is the place where there needs to be some thought before action. Is there a remedial class for that?
Then there’s my job. I don’t love my job. I used to, but there have been a lot of changes over the last few years, and many of them have not been so great for me. The biggest change is having my commute increase from less than 10 miles a day, to more than seventy miles a day. If I had gone from NO job, to this job, I’d feel damn lucky! But I landed here coming from the other direction, and took this job when the commute was short and sweet. So pardon my grumbling–I’m still working on acceptance.
So what AM I blogging about? I still have no flippin’ idea. But I have a blog now, so I guess I’ll find out as I go.
A Place for Gracie 